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  • How to Avoid Sex

  • The Tumours Made Me Interesting

  • A Million Versions of Right

  • History


My books to date are as follows:

Basal Ganglia
(Forthcoming from Lazy Fascist Press, 2013)
How to Avoid Sex
(Copeland Valley Press, 2012 (paperback) Dark Coast Press, 2013 (eVersion))
The Tumours Made Me Interesting
(LegumeMan Books, 2011)
A Million Versions of Right
(LegumeMan Books, 2009)

Read below for more information. More info about me here.

How to Avoid Sex

How to Avoid Sex

How to Avoid Sex


The scourge of sex continues to degrade us, undermining the superior moral fibre of which we are capable. It seems one can’t leave the house without falling prey to orgy gangs or pornographic film shoots. Rather than admonishing prurient genital tendencies, we make a sport of celebrating them. There is a mistaken belief that sexuality is a natural part of the human condition. This fallacy has plunged us into damp-crotched darkness.

This is the story of a superior man unwilling to bend to the will of society’s sex addiction. This is a document detailing the lengths some of us will go to avoid sex, and why sometimes it’s not as easy as one assumes.

Praise for How to Avoid Sex

“Revert’s work is something all readers should experience. Yes, what he writes is weird and funny, but he makes it work because there are universal themes under the strangeness and outstandingly eloquent and beautiful writing throughout the entire narrative. Making people laugh is hard to do, but doing so while being simultaneously smart, bizarre, and different is almost impossible. The fact that this author pulls it off is enough reason to say How to Avoid Sex is a must-read for fans of uncanny literature and anyone who simply enjoys being entertained.”


“Matthew Revert’s How to Avoid Sex offers the best of what explorations of the absurd can yield. It succeeds spectacularly. As a bonus, I laughed so hard in some places that I scared my dog.

I also found myself disturbed, but I don’t necessarily see that as a negative.  The scenarios within the book are extreme. But then so are the scenarios presented in many other works of fiction that are by now considered classic and also provide much food for thought.

It also takes a garganutan amount of creative bravery to create a work of fiction that goes to such extremes.”

– Spotty Blog

Buy from Amazon US/UK/Canada


The Tumours Made Me Interesting

The Tumours Made Me Interesting


Hello, my name is Bruce Miles and my life means nothing to no one.

When I was 12, I watched a falcon carry away my father, leaving me to care for my mother while a mysterious illness slowly transformed her into an arm. Events like these tend to ensure a bleak future and, until recently, I was making good on that promise.

I was the sort of person you didn’t notice. I wasn’t worth noticing. Just a talentless nobody destined to die alone and unremembered.

Then I was diagnosed with terminal cancer and everything turned around.

You see, it turns out I have a gift for illness. My tumours aren’t like other tumours. They’re special. And now that I’m going to die, my once miserable life may actually be worth living. There’s this lady, Fiona. She’s what you’d call a sickness enthusiast and she has a plan that’ll rocket me to superstardom in the underground world of disease fetishists. With her help, I’m going to chase the elusive perfect tumour that will be both my legacy and the key to being something I’ve never been…

… interesting.

Praise for The Tumours Made Me Interesting

“I remember looking at the clock and seeing a time I’d never seen before.” 

“You see, it really is that simple. Genius is always simple in the end, and I say that having known Raymond Carver and Stanley Elkin well, and having worked for Frank Zappa, Carlos Santana and Miles Davis. I used to think I was a genius. I wonder about that now, reading this latest book by Matt Revert. Maybe I’m just Max Brod and not Franz Kafka. Revert truly is the Light and the Way. He’s not just good, he’s the very, very rare Good Thing. If you can’t hear it, then no one can help you. Not even me.”

-Kris Saknussemm, author of Zanesville, Private Midnight, Enigmatic Pilot, Sinister Miniatures and Reverend America

“How does one define the works of Matthew Revert? ‘Erotic surrealism’ comes to my mind, but I fear that it does not fully suffice. Whatever the definitions, this is very unusual fiction that strikes out boldly and confidently on its own distinctive path of creativity.”

– Tabish Khair, author of The Thing about Thugs and Filming: A Love Story

“Matthew Revert’s novel, The Tumors made me interesting, is one of the finest pieces of liver-fried prose I have ever read. It has the familiarity of a Beatles’ song on bad acid, the social awareness of a Dickens raped by a chimp with rabies and the humor of André Breton trying to shave with a lawn-mower. Remarkably well written, full of genius word-plays and images, it is a great piece of fiction, which will make you laugh and cringe, not necessarily at the same time.”

-Sébastien Doubinsky, author of The Babylonian Trilogy

Buy from Amazon US/UK/Canada/France/Japan/Germany
Buy for Kindle
Buy for other eFormats
Buy from LegumeMan Books
Buy from The Book Depository (free international shipping)
Buy from Barnes and Nobel

A Million Versions of Right

A Million Versions of Right


Between these covers lies a cornucopia of wonders. Step into a world that defies all logic. One of masturbatory headphones, diabolically toppled comb-jars, moustache-filled ejaculations, malfunctioning bookmarks, bricolage scrotums, wank fairies and a poorly conceived theory regarding wall stability. A world where ball popping is the only solution to the scrotum’s poor aesthetic qualities and true love can lead a man to transpose menstruation across gender lines. Not to mention a blink so immensely powerful that mild abrasion can ensue. There’s also a lime.

Truly some of the strangest stories ever told. In his debut, Wonderland Book Award nominated, collection Matthew Revert has concocted a bizarre vortex of fiction by turns hilarious, disturbing, thought-provoking and just plain odd. A Million Versions of Right will force you to find logic in the illogic and shun anything resembling common sense.

Like the faecal scrawl of a madman without the unpleasant smell.

Praise for A Million Versions of Right

“Australian writer Matthew Revert purposely disregards the boring limits of consensus reality in favor of a better experiential flow for author and audience. He’s been called a “bizarro” writer, but prefers the tag absurdist.

The stories in A Million Versions of Right are irreal, but not confrontationally so. Revert distorts familiar experiences while retaining enough of the commonplace to make them universal for even the most staid of readers. A consistent motif is the unremarkable reactions of his protagonists when faced with circumstances beyond the unlikely (like ejaculating a series of mustachioed tillers, as occurs in the title story, where readers are introduced to the narrator’s “clockwork father”)”.
Denver Examiner, April 16, 2010

“A Million Versions of Right, Mister Revert’s collection of short stories, is an amazing achievement. Why? Well, because I hate short story collections. There’s only one other short story collection I liked and that was the Bauchelain and Korbal Broach collection by Steven Erikson. But those were different. Very different to these. I just can’t stand getting into a story and then being flipped out and told to get into the next, which is doomed to be not as much fun because I kind of just wanted to read more about that character. I prefer novels.

And what makes them so great isn’t their ideas. It’s the style. Mister Revert has, simply, one of the most efficient and highly readable styles I’ve ever read for this genre. In most cases you can feel the author’s desperate need to try and impress. You can see they’re just trying to one-up the weirdness. But Mister Rever succeeds in keeping a natural eccentricity which is toned down greatly by a near precision-based editing exercise. You can see he’s worked and reworked each story – and if he hasn’t, then the man needs to be wired up to a machine which forces him to write, because if this is what he can do without effort, then he needs to give us something he tried. It would kick our brains out.

If you like it weird, and you like it intelligent and you like it to challenge your mind, you can’t go wrong with A Million Versions of Right, because no matter how wrong you think a short story is, this book will prove they can sometimes be all right”. 
–Lateral Books, April 18, 2010

“This book offers a crucial and refreshing difference that should instantly establish it as a prototype of the Bizarro genre (perhaps New Absurdist? Subject for a debate no doubt). That difference is: in these stories, the nonsensical actually makes sense and the illogical is firmly grounded on logic, i.e. they have a raison-d’être.

Granted, perhaps testicular annihilation and scrotum aesthetics shouldn’t be appreciated by all. And the paralysing fear that one or more of the `men’ contained in `semen’ may be what decides to burst forth at that next toe-curling moment is rarely a popular water-cooler topic. Ditto for power blinks, malfunctioning bookmarks, and one particular comb-jar deep in the Hair District… But all these things fill the pages for a reason, brilliantly described and brought to life to reveal the shocking silliness that exists in those things we call conventions”.
–Full of Crow, December 27, 2009

“Reflecting on these stories, I’m reminded of the enjoyment I take from thinking about literature. As I read through this book, I kept chuckling to myself over the content, but for quite a while considered the ideas or concepts Revert was trying to communicate. I’ve come to the conclusion that Revert has successfully found the recipe for a great read: fun, thought-provoking, and relevant”.
–The Dream People

Buy from Amazon US/UK/Canada/France/Japan/Germany
Buy for Kindle
Buy for other eFormats
Buy from LegumeMan Books
Buy from The Book Depository (free international shipping)
Buy from Barnes and Nobel

A Million Versions of Right is also available from various independent bookstores. If your favourite bookstore doesn’t stock it, cry until they do.

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